Grocery Shopping With Baby

So after my trip back to Michigan for a long weekend we were long overdue for buying some groceries. So long overdue that we didn't even have anything to eat for dinner. With this in mind I decided we could not wait another minute to dawn the door of the grocery store. After picking up my daughter from daycare we made our way to the local HyVee. Upon arrival at the store I snagged a cart a guy was getting ready to launch into the cart corral and attempted to load my little girl into it while still in her car seat. Well some of these newer carts don't have big enough seats to make you feel at ease placing your carseat in them. She was laying in such a way that her head was laid back so far it was lower than her feet. She gave me this, "uhh mom are you sure about this" and I too concurred this placement wouldn't work for a hour of beating it back and forth up and down the isles.

Since our trip to Michigan the two of us had gotten pretty familiar with the ins and outs of the baby bjorn and luckily for us it was still in the backseat of the car. (For those you who don't know this is the little contraption the parent wears and the baby hangs out on the front of you. It is like a fancy bookbag you wear on your front and side with holes for the legs and arms.) So I reloaded the carseat in the car, took her out of it, and manievered her into the carrier. Off we went, our reusable bags already loaded into the cart.

At first my daughter was very alert and smiling at all the grocery store patrons and they ooo'd and aww'd back at her. Then my phone rang and I had a little more difficulty steering my cart but I considered myself a super mom for carrying around a baby, grocery shopping, and catching up with a friend. Soon after hanging up the phone I realized that my daughter had fallen dead sleep. Her head was now slumped forward. She was in such a deep sleep that giggling her arm and talking in her ear did not phase her. So then I started to do more of a modified limbo walk to keep her head against my chest so it wouldn't fall forward. When grabbing items off the shelf I would have to support her face with one hand and grab the goods with the other. Now when people would pass they would look at me kind of funny and make some remark about how I had a sleeper on my hands. It's times like this you want to point out people's intelligence for stating the obvious, but I held back.

Upon checkout I noticed more strange looks as I tried to unload my cart while doing a bit of a backbend, but neither the lady who checked me out nor the bagger said anything. I declined help to my car and we were on our way. I unloaded all the groceries into the car while assuming the same backbend position. Finally we were loaded ready to go. I returned the cart to the corral and proceeded to lift her out of the baby bjorn. While lifting I noticed there was a spot of poop up her back. Upon closer inspection I noticed there was poop all over her pants as well. That is when the horror hit me. I quickly put an outfit underneath her in the carseat while I ripped off the carrier. And yes, just as I had feared... I too had pumpkin color poop all over my pink collared shirt. It all made sense then... the cute admiring looks that slowly transformed into weird glances and stares. I looked down at my little girl in her carseat, who by the way was now wide awake, and she just grinned back at me... so proud of her little accomplishment. I ran around to the drivers seat hoping no one would see my poop stained shirt and immediately called my husband. I told him to meet us in the driveway, he had a real mess to clean up!! In a blink of an eye I went from thinking I was super mom to just another smuck who got sh** on.