Jump Doggy Jump

Prior to leaving for our vacation my husband reminded me that we would be ‘up north’ (common name for northern Michigan) during the Cherry Festival. He didn’t even have to say it when I came to the realization that along with the Cherry Festival came the dog jumping competition. I was stoked! This was Murphy’s chance! His big break to be discovered! (Discovered as what, I didn’t know but none the less discovered.) I went online to see if I could register him but much to my dismay read that the online registration was closed for the Cherry Festival. I went to the main competition website and found some contact names. Not one to easily be discouraged I dialed up the CEO/President of this organization. He answered his phone directly and told me that the event had sold out in eight hours but if they had an opening we could come to the event and wait at our opportunity to show off Murphy’s greatness. We talked for a few minutes and although I was a little disheartened I still held out hope that my dog could show off his springs.

I off handily told our neighbor up north how I wanted Murphy to jump in this competition. He asked him if I knew that the guy who ran this competition nationwide was a retired pitcher for the Tigers (professional baseball team). Who knew? It turned out this is the guy who I had originally just called directly like it was no big deal.

Anyway I called my pitcher friend again the day of the first qualifying jump. Much to my amazement he answered the phone and said, “Hi Allison.” I was pretty taken back, even if this guy wasn’t famous at one point at his life that is pretty good since I talked to him for about three minutes two weeks prior. He told me that they could fit me in on the first jump of the day. I instantly got giddy and super nervous. My Murphy was going to have his shot! I busted back into the house announcing to the group that we had to get moving, my Murphy Lou was going to be FAMOUS!! Within record time we loaded two kids, four parents, a grandma, and our 100 pound baby bear and were on our way. Mind you going into ‘town’ takes about 45 minutes and within this 45 minutes I got myself all worked up into a nervous frenzy. I felt like my first born was about to go sing a solo to the President of the United States. My nerves started to take a toll as we got closer. My stomach was cramping up something fierce. I told my husband to pull over at the next stop, I had to go! He laughed at me and thought I was joking. Joking I was not, I had to go. We sat in traffic long enough though that my pains calmed down and I considered myself ‘ok’ to proceed without a stop.

As we got closer to the place where the dogs were supposed to jump we were at a loss to locate a big pool of water with a lot of furry friends gathered around. I called my pitcher friend again who gave me step by step instructions. His step by step instructions led us to an entrance that was barricaded from cars. We pulled up in front of the barricades that displayed a sign that read “No Outside Food, No Outside Beverages, No Dogs.” I jumped out and the guy at the information booth pointed over yonder at a purple flag flying and said that was where we needed to get to. Seeing this spot was only accessible by foot my husband unloaded the dog (mind you, right in front of the ‘no dog’s sign) and my mother heaved Murphy’s kennel from the back of the car. I should mention that my mom is deathly afraid of dogs. She has come to tolerate Murphy but in no way shape or form was she going to be dragged through a festival while our beast of a dog greeted every man, woman, and child… so she opted to carry the very heavy and very awkward kennel through the crowds of people. I was given the job to park the car, unload the kid, and meet them back at the competition site. I drove a bit of a way down the street, made a couple of left turns and thought I had landed the mother load when I found some easily accessible free street parking. I unloaded the kid only to find she had a very poopy diaper. I did what any mother would do. I opened up the back hatch of our car and changed her right there on the street. I got a few looks as people walked by but what were my options? I finally got her in her stroller, heaved her diaper bag on one shoulder and the food bag on the other (which had to have weighed a good 30 lbs. since it contained multiple full sippy cups, water bottles, pops, and snacks. When I got to the end of the street that I parked on I expected the purple flag that marked the competition site to be only a block or so away. I was horrified to see that I could barely see it flapping in the breeze in what seemed to be 15 blocks away. By the time I got there I was hot, sweaty, and had permanent marks in my shoulders from the weight of those stupid cans of pop in the food bag. Mind you during my 30 minute walk my husband called 3 times asking where I was. Is there anything more frusterating when you are hot and are on your way and someone keeps calling to ask where you are? I am sure I didn’t disguise my annoyance either when I flatly answered the phone ‘WHAT.’

I parked the kid in her stroller next to a haggled grandma while I went and signed a waiver that said God only knows what. In retrospect I should have read what it said, I mean what could you be possibly saying that you wouldn’t sue for at a dog jumping contest? All I had to do was walk up four stairs, walk to the end of the runway and toss a toy into the water. I was not jumping in that dog haired filled pool! I digress. Murphy was ready for his first test run and since he was a newbie we had to go through the ramp training, which I must say he caught on quite quickly to. He did his two practice jumps and we called it good, no need to wear him out. I will say though that I was a little baffled at some of these competitor’s dogs. I shit you not that one of them was wearing a life jacket. I wanted to tap this lady on the shoulder and kindly inform her that if you dog has to wear a life jacket I don’t think he is going to win. There was another lady who had two little yard shitters and she spent a ridiculous time practicing. These dogs looked like they were afraid of the water. They would run down the runway and put on the brakes. If the run wasn’t covered in that fake grass carpet stuff I would have sworn you could have seen claw marks.

The practice time came to a close and we were told the rules. There were four heats, 10 dogs to a heat, and each dog got to jump twice in their stated order. They then made it very clear that there was no pushing your dog in the water. If you pushed your dog in you would be asked to leave immediately and escorted off the premises. I guess they really wanted to avoid people picking up their dog and chucking them as far into the water as the possibly could. Otherwise, I don’t see too much harm in giving an unwilling dog a little push from behind but the rules are the rules. We learned that we were in the fourth heat and were 7th in line. This meant that there were 67 jumps that had to take place before we would even get our turn. That is a pretty daunting number when you are trying to keep two one year olds entertained. A few handfuls of eaten grass, one tantrum, and lunch it was our turn. Thankfully the event coordinators kept the jumps quick and in rapid succession. Before we knew it it was our Baby Lou’s time to jump. The weird thing was he knew it. He was more amped up then I have ever seen him. We took our place in line and my husband did everything he could to contained Murphy’s energy. He is not a big barker but he was barking non-stop, laying down, standing up, lunging for the throw dummy… making a real spectical. At one point he made such a quick move for his throw dummy that I found myself wrapped up in his leash. I had to hop and make some pretty quick motions myself to not be buckled to my knees. If someone had a camera I think we would have looked like we lost total control of our dog. It was everything my husband could do not to get him to tear past the line of dogs and into the water himself. It was about at this time when I started to feel the sharp pain of a threatening poop coming on. I turned to my husband with a panicked stricken face and told him I didn’t think I could do this, I had to go and I had to go now. He looked worried too. I mean I was the thrower, he was the holder, it was a two man team. I looked around for some immediate porta potties but saw none. I basically came to the realization that even if I crapped my pants I was going to do it for my Baby Lou. I sat down in a chair and tried to focus. Tried to convince myself I was not nervous and this was just like another day at the lake. Next thing I know they were announcing our names and telling the audience the things that Murphy liked to do. Immediately my adrenaline kicked in and the pain vanished. It was showtime!!! Murphy jerked my husband up the stairs and basically had to choke hold him to get him to stay while I made my way down to the end of the runway. The pitcher was on the mike and said, ‘Oh and here comes Allison!’ Instinctively I waved like I was Miss America at the crowd. After I put my hand down I thought to myself, ‘What in the hell was that?’ I quickly dismissed the thought and looked back at my Lou Lou Bear. He looked calmer then like he was all business. I started to scream… COME ON MURPHY LEEETTT’SS GOOOO, LET’S GO, LET’S GO!! He wasted no time to plunge all his weight full force to come barreling towards me. I threw the dummy out into the water and he flew past me like a torpedo. The splash he threw out when he hit the water was the most impressive of the day, like a small tsunami. I think he could give Shamu a good run for his money. Three rows of people were accessing the wetness of their clothes when the pitcher called over the loudspeaker that our Murph jumped 19’ 4’’. Our guy looked like he was on top of the world as he swam around with this fake duck dangling out of his mouth. I was so proud of him. That is a very long ways considering he was the largest dog at the competition. Our second jump was much like the first. He went 19’2’’ and gave out the same impressive tidal wave.

Murphy didn’t make it to the finals given that some of these little spring boards were jumping 25 feet, but I was proud of him none the less. He did his best, jumped a respectable distance, and had a great time in the process. There is always next year.