Since you are reading this you will know that we all survived the weekend. Which from the previous blogs you know is no small feat. I will highlight a few stressful points from the weekend to let you know it wasn't all fun and games.
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Friday night I was giving my daughter her routine bath. Since the diaper cream eating incident I shut all three of us in the bathroom so no one could escape and do naughty things....mainly one specific dog. Well for some reason instead of laying down on the bath mat, like he normally does, the dog was very interested in first taking a hearty drink from the tub water and then in her bath toys floating by. He became especially intrigued with the yellow rubber ducky. Mind you she was at the faucet end of the tub when it happened so well out of the way of the 95 lb. 1/2 dog 1/2 horse who was standing at the far end of the tub. Before I knew what was happening the dog had jumped half of his body into the tub to seize the rubber duckie. Upon his conquest he jumped out bringing half the water in the tub with him. Since this all happened so quick, I was a little stunned. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or scold him. Given my new approach to try to relax I decided to let go and laugh. I proceeded to take the rubber duckie out of his mouth, and threw it back into the bath. Apparently he interpreted my laughing a sign that this was a game. He lept up and careened his body back into the tub to once again tell the duck who was boss. Meanwhile she was squealing like this was the best time she has ever had. Once again upon his seizure of the duck, he hopped back out and laid down on the mat. This time I revised my approach and scolded him so he wouldn't think it was alright to get in the bath with his sister! I threw the duckie back into the tub all the while warning him not to retrieve it or else! Thankfully he listened to my warnings and instead bellied back up to the tub and took a leisurely drink. Once his thirst was satisfied he must have rationalized that even though he wasn't supposed to get in the tub he might as well play with the toys that floated by. He did this by doing a sort of bob for apples move with his snout, all the while keeping a keen eye on the location of the duckie. She noticed his interest too and grabbed the small yellow victim herself before it got around to floating past his enormous face. In a taunting move she put out her hand like she was offering the duckie to him but as soon as he went for it she quickly withdrew her hand. This motion repeated where she would put her hand out, he would open his mouth to go for it, and she would retract her hand laughing. About the third time he decided that enough was enough and despite all warnings jumped the front 1/2 of his body back into the tub. She shut her eyes and anticipated the on slot of weight. Fortunately, although large he is very aware of her and only went for the duck, which in her fear she dropped giving him full access. When she opened her eyes and found the dog in the tub with her again she squealed so loud it reverberated off the walls. It was at this point I decided to cut my losses. No one was hurt, she hadn't stood up once, and the bathroom floor looked more like a tub filed with water than the actual tub. Yeah, she freaked when I pulled her out. That still hadn't changed.
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On Saturday afternoon a friend of ours invited us to go to the pool with them. I thought this would be such a fun time since my daughter obviously loves baths and it would be interesting to see how she reacted in a real pool. I woke her up from her nap since she had been sleeping for some time. It was also well past lunchtime and neither of us had ate. She was still pretty sleepy when I woke her up and in her defense I probably made the transition from the crib to the highchair too quick. She all out boycotted eating and screamed the entire time through lunch. I told her since I was still eating she was going to continue to sit there since it was rude to get up before everyone was done. (Not to mention that it would be pretty much impossible for me to eat a meal when she was out and about.) Anyway she maybe ate two bites and decided she had enough. She continuously signed 'all done' and wailed. I unloaded her from her chair and packed a snack bag of Cheerios since I knew she was going to be hungry. I set them on the edge of the table (mind you, bar tabletop high) and ran upstairs to get her little robe. When I got back downstairs, not two minutes later, I saw the dog in the corner of the family room gnawing on something. When I approached him it almost looked like he was chewing on a piece of gum. I opened the cavern and found only the top of a Ziploc baggie... like the Ziploc part... nothing else... not the contents... not the baggie. I looked up on the table and yeah, nothing. He had stolen and almost destroyed all the evidence of the Cheerio snack. My nerves were again completely frayed between enduring 1/2 hour of screaming and then a finding my attempts at packing a snack so my daughter didn't starve destroyed. I finally loaded us into the car only to have my patience tested again when I went to get Little Swimmer diapers at the local grocery store. As many moms can sympathize... running the quick errand to pick up one thing isn't easy. So when I asked the store worker where they were his response of "Oh gosh we must be out if they aren't there" really put me on edge. I wanted to say gosh mister... why don't you lug this 20 lb. baby + 15 lb. carrier around and find me some DIAPERS! Of course I kept my thoughts to myself and hauled my now sweaty body back to the car. We made our way to Babies R' Us. I again unloaded her, found the Little Swimmers, and made our way to the cash register. I told the guy I had a rewards card and he went to look me up from my phone number. He must have mistyped a number because he couldn't find me. So I gave him my address and when the computer found me he said "oh yeah that is your phone number." Yeah dumb ass that is what I told you. Anyway I went to pay and swiped my credit card. He said, can I see an ID? Ok I am all for identify protection but when I just told him my phone number and address and then scanned a card with a matching name.. is it really necessary to see my drivers license as well? All I carry is a little wristlet which takes me quite a bit of time to find things in. The line was growing, my daughter was getting restless, and I was getting to the point of dumping the entire contents of my wallet on this guys conveyor belt. I was about two seconds away from screaming at this guy but thought better of it because I needed those Little Swimmers damn it so we can get to the pool and have some FUN! AGGHHH!!!
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At some point during this past week I had taught my daughter how to cover and uncover her mouth while she is making a constant sound. Although not PC some of us remember trotting around the house pretending like we were American Indians. I of course think it was hilarious when she did it and as a result she was doing it often. At meals, during playtime, whenever. She would do it and I would do it back and we would laugh because really it is fun to make your voice do crazy things. Well there was no laughing when in the middle of church on Sunday morning she broke out her American Indian call. Loudly... during a reflecting in silence after a prayer time.
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Yesterday evening I was collapsing her pack n' play since I had it set up outside so we could be outside and I wouldn't have to chase her around prying dirt and grass out of her hand before it made it to her mouth. She was holding onto some plastic thing a ma bob when the dog came over and decided he would like to have it. Mind you she was sitting on our cement patio. He pulled and when she didn't let go he jerked it out of her hand. She just fell onto her hand but I went into freak out mode noting that a collision with cement could have been much worse. I started to run at him while screaming NEVER DO THAT TO YOUR SISTER! EVER!! I body checked him down, threw my body at his side and attempted to grab his muzzle. He growled at me and bared his teeth. Don't worry he has done this before. If you were to put your hand in his mouth he would not bite down. So I am screaming at him I DARE YOU TO BITE ME RIGHT NOW!! YOU NEVER TAKE ANYTHING AWAY FROM YOUR SISTER LIKE THAT DO YOU HEAR ME??!!! It was a nice evening... the neighbors were in their backyard and here I was tackling my dog and screaming in his face. Yeah, I'm not living up to their crazy lady next door expectations.
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